Saint Peter was standin' there talkin' one day,
to a cowpoke that he'd jist found.
An' the saint sez, "Waco, Since y'jist got here,
how 'bout if I show ya around?" 

Waco's willin' a course, an' he sez as much.
An' Pete sez, "Beggin' yer pardon, 
if it's all right with you, the first thing we'll do 
is t'visit my personal garden." 

Pete shows 'im a hunnert pound cantaloupe
that recently took first prize.
Waco laughs an' sez, "Back home that's a grape!"
An' then kinda rolls 'is eyes. 

Peter sez, "All right, take a look at this bull!"
Waco sez, "That's a pussy cat."
Peter sez, "Waco, that's one of our best! 
I'll pertend you didn't say that."

Then Peter sez, "Cowpokes all like the girls,
take a look at this beauty queen."
Waco sez, "She's cute, but not nearly as purty 
as some girls back home I've seen."

Peter sez, "Here's somethin' that'll ketch yer eye,
an' deflate that ego as well."
So he waves 'is hands an' they both appear
in front a the gates of Hell.

Peter turns t'Waco, an' sez with a smile,
"Is this a big fire, er what?"
Waco chuckles a little, an' covers a yawn,
an' sez, "What else've y'got?"

Saint Peter says, "Boy, them's the fires of Hell!
Nothin' like it in yer hometown! 
Satan feeds this blaze with the souls a men!
It's a fire that'll never die down!"

Waco smiles at Pete, shakes 'is head an' sez, 
"It's a big 'un, they ain't no doubt,
but they's a fella back home, if y'ask 'im right,
would prolly come put it out."

To Red Adair,
The World's Greatest Extinguisher of Oil Well Fires." 

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