I don't know how much fishin' you do,
but in Texas they's large mouth bass
so dadgum big neither man nor beast
would ever give 'em no sass.

The wildlife folks have got 'em got a word
fer these big ol' large mouth clunkers.
Since we're in Texas an' the word means "big,"
they call 'em "Texas Lunkers."

Now, Waco Walmsley's cousin comes down
from 'is home in New York State.
His name is Bill, and he tells Waco he'd like
some lunker on 'is dinner plate.

Waco sez, "Sure, if that's what ya want,
I'll git the trailer and the pickup out.
Soon as I git 'em all ready to go,
I'll come an' give ya a shout."

Bill got 'is camera loaded up,
while Waco loaded 'is rifle.
Bill sez, "You worried about where we're goin?"
An' Waco sez, "Maybe a trifle.

"Y'see, these lunker we're goin' to git,
will git you if you do it wrong.
These things is huge, and that's the reason why
we're takin' the trailer along."

Bill sez, "A trailer?  Well how many lunkers
you reckon we're gonna haul in?"
Waco sez, "Well that's hard t'figger,
these things is meaner than sin."

Ol' Bill's still thinkin' that last one over
as they rattle along in the flivver.
It's still on 'is mind as they pass Port Arthur,
an' head for the Neches River.

This is down, where it joins the Sabine,
just before you git to the coast?
Waco sez it's the best fishin' ever,
but you know how the kid can boast.

Now Bill is startin' to feel kinda strange,
like somethin' ugly is cookin'.
An' he's gittin' nervous about the way
his cousin Waco is lookin'

Well, long story short, they git to the river,
an' they park in a wooded glen.
Then Waco reaches in the pickup bed,
an' pulls out a big fat hen.

Bill says, "What's this?  Y'gonna barbecue chicken
fer somethin' to eat while we wait?"
"The reason," sez Waco, "that I brang this chicken
is so we can git us some bait."

Bill sez, "I see only two fishin' worms,
you leave the rest of 'em home?"
"Well," sez Waco, "when the action starts
them worms git lost in the foam.

"This chicken won't be our best bait either,
fer that, we need somethin' more.
Now, bring yer pole an' that hunderd pound line
an' let's git down to the shore."

Waco throws out the line with the hen tied on
an' sez, "Now, we jist gotta wait."
But a ten-foot gator takes that hen in minutes
an' Waco yells, "Here's our bait!"

That feelin' Bill had jist keeps gettin' worse.
You can prolly guess what he's wishin'.
Then Waco sez, "Now we throw in the gator
an' do us some serious fishin'."

They's jist no way cousin Bill could've guessed
they'd pull in a thousand pound bass.
But Waco sez, "When yer fishin' in Texas
you gotta expect some class.

"An' jist so you know, catchin' lunkers with gators
could git us both long jail terms.
So, if anyone asks what we're usin' fer bait,
you show 'em them two fishin' worms."



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